oh-my-god-if-you-go-now-take-me-with-you!

i’ll be honest with you, i’ve never had a huge group of friends. those i do have are awesome though. but i’m not going to go down that route today. instead, i’m going to talk about one of the very bestest bud’s ever. one that has been there since before my arrival – back in seventy four to a mirrored self in the delivery suite – and to this day is by my side, supportive, and loving to the nth degree.

you see, one of my all time best buddy‘s has to be the fella. otherwise known to some as the willy, and by many other names too, some of which totally lost on me. but officially known as the penis, which like most official titles sounds rubbish. i mean think about it. someone came up with the word vagina and thought that sounded ok…

yes, i’m going there.

from early on in life, a boy and his fella will form a bond that is like no other. why do you think so many little dude’s are caught copping a feel? true, some try to test the limit of stretch, but that’s something for which the fella will quickly point out isn’t too good an idea. the little dude’s not being naughty, they’re just seeking reassurance. it’s okay, fella, you’re good, i’m good, the world is fine.

it doesn’t matter how the basic design has been applied or what doctoring has taken place – such as the removal of the fella’s hoodie – it’s mere presence is enough to make any guy feel better.

it’s such a good buddy, that when it’s hurt – on purpose by some selfish utter gizwat, or accidentally, like through showing off on a bmx bike and mislanding the jump – the flood of agonising pain it induces is second to none. as you lie there, arms clamped around the bruised and battered fella, all yoyu can think of is…just hang in their dude, i’m here, i’ll see you through, oh-my-god-if-you-go-now-take-me-with-you!

best of all is he’s a bud with the same taste as you! a little partner in crime in the persuet of eye candy. making sure when you see great eye candy the fella will always let you know if he’s in agreement with your choice. a sort of, yeah bro’ that’s a goodie innit?!

this bond is the reason why you treat him well. you look after him, and he’ll look after you…

this is one of those things in life that no woman will ever truly be able to understand. i guess in the same way no man will ever truly understand what it’s like to have boobs and nothing in the front of your pants.

how a woman starts the day without a quick fumble and cupping of the fella, i’ll never know…

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